Shankleface is doing ab exercises and pull-ups and I’m polishing off a pint of ice cream and neither of us is judging the other

life is grand, la di da

okay

youknownothing-ouiserboudreaux:

fiftyshadesofme:

Sh%it Southern Women Say, Part Deux

I’m crying a little bit.

okay okay okay

I was over the “shit girls say” videos like forever ago

but right now I am CACKLING

It might surprise some of you to read this blog in a southern accent, but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve said “you better watch out for the po-lice” in exactly that cadence

marxisforbros:

I’m old and I don’t get things. Is this meant to be a joke pointing out that rap music doesn’t fit the decor/setting of the film?
Because if that’s the reason that this has nearly 100,000 notes then I’m going to puke on all of you until you die. 

I reblogged it because it was an unexpected juxtaposition, especially out of context of the film. To a person who is unfamiliar with the reason for the flowers, the cakes, and Leo’s suit and facial expression, it seems absurd and therefore entertaining.

marxisforbros:

I’m old and I don’t get things. Is this meant to be a joke pointing out that rap music doesn’t fit the decor/setting of the film?

Because if that’s the reason that this has nearly 100,000 notes then I’m going to puke on all of you until you die. 

I reblogged it because it was an unexpected juxtaposition, especially out of context of the film. To a person who is unfamiliar with the reason for the flowers, the cakes, and Leo’s suit and facial expression, it seems absurd and therefore entertaining.

The SAT is a scam. It has been around for 50 years. It has never measured anything. And it continues to measure nothing. And the whole game is that everybody who does well on it, is so delighted by their good fortune that they don’t want to attack it. And they are the people in charge. Because of course, the way you get to be in charge is by having high test scores. So it’s this terrific kind of rolling scam that every so often, somebody sort of looks and says—well, you know, does it measure intelligence? No. Does it predict college grades? No. Does it tell you how much you learned in high school? No. Does it predict life happiness or life success in any measure? No. It’s measuring nothing. John Katzman, founder of The Princeton Review (via xeram)

(via sociolab)

warrenellis:

I bet that with a just little biohacking, heroin could go from scary drug to low-carb superfood in no time

Best possible answer

Best possible answer

How is it already bedtime?

I have to be at work an hour early tomorrow so my bosses can fuss at me along with everyone else, because one person got a crappy customer service score and it “wouldn’t be fair” to single her out for punishment. One of my bosses has volunteered to bring breakfast casserole to make this meeting more like fun and less like staying after school because some other kid wouldn’t stop fucking off. It’s not going to work.

For the love of God, I need a new job.

David is staying with his mom in Henry county, so I’m turning my loneliness into self-indulgence.

David is staying with his mom in Henry county, so I’m turning my loneliness into self-indulgence.

Heard of New Zealand?

Heard of New Zealand?

cantgeddynuffofdatass:

This is my favourite Shakespeare quote

cantgeddynuffofdatass:

This is my favourite Shakespeare quote

(via slaughterhousefive)

All too often in cases like this I hear that the answer is for an offended party to “get a sense of humor.” I hate this. I hate how it puts the blame for the failed joke on the audience, and I hate how it’s almost always used by crappy comedians defending crappy jokes. If someone takes something really seriously, they have reasons for it, reasons that they can’t ignore. Don’t mock them for that.

The solution then is to understand at least a bit about what your audience is not going to find funny and adjust your jokes accordingly, even throwing them out entirely. Can you live without that Holocaust joke? Yes of course you can. Idiot.

— Cracked: 4 Reasons No One Laughed at Your Joke
projectilevarmint:

Just working on my cover letter

projectilevarmint:

Just working on my cover letter

Baz Luhrmann outdid himself.

Baz Luhrmann outdid himself.

(via ryanvoid)