David is staying with his mom in Henry county, so I’m turning my loneliness into self-indulgence.
Publix mushroom soup is scrumptious!
The last time I was this excited about soup was the last time I made mushroom soup.
Halls of My Ancestors Pie
I hastily prepared this pie for a pot luck today, and I was told that, “This is fire!” I was also told, “That sounds like death, but a good and honorable death. One that would allow me to travel to the halls of my ancestors or whatever.”
Now the time has come for us to become archaeologists in our own lives and transform ourselves into the pie that will transmogrify our souls back to the halls and forests of our ancestors. Create the future by contacting the past through some bomb-ass chocolate pie, y’all.
You’ll need:
- A big gram cracker crust (or make one yourself)
- A tub of chocolate cream cheese (or you can make it yourself by adding cocoa powder to softened cream cheese)
- Fudge covered ritz (Also, the $1 box of fudge covered gram crackers should work too)
- A pint-sized container of chocolate ice cream or if u fancy, a container of chocolate gelato. You can let it sit out for like an hour to make it soft, or if you’re in a hurry/brave, follow the directions of what I did.
- A tub of cool whip
This is easy as a medium may find it to contact your ancestors prior to consuming this near-mythical pie.Put the cream cheese in the microwave for like 30 seconds, and melt it down so it’ll spread easy. Spread it on the bottom of your pie crust.Crumble up your fudge covered crackers. I did this by snapping them in half into a bowl and then crushing them with a big spoon. Sprinkle them evenly on top of the cream cheese.Okay… This is probably the hardest part. I was in a hurry, so I had to microwave the gelato. I put it in there for like 25 seconds and it was perfect. Scoop it out and spread it over top of the crackers. It’s okay if they get mixed up in it. It’s all taking you to the same place in the end.Eat some of the ice cream, you know. To make sure that it is powerful enough for your transformative needs.Scoop out the whipped cream and plop it on the ice cream. I spread it around, but you can also try and make it pretty if that’s your thing.Sprinkle mini chocolate chips on top for garnish and extra connection to mankind.In the words of G Love & the Special Sauce: “Stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge.” For about an hour. Serve, eat, and have visions of a world without hate.
(via budgiebazooka)
Lunch. One zucchini and one yellow squash, roasted in the oven with salt, garlic powder, and enough red pepper flake to stop a rhinoceros. This stuffy nose doesn’t stand a chance.
Come to me, bacon flan. We should be looooooverrrrrrrrrs
(via deliciousbaconpics)
Lunch: black bean, onion, & beef burritos.
(via thisbaristabakes)
Okay, show of hands-
How many people by now have no idea that eating more fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and drinking plenty of (unpolluted) water is better for you than processed food?
I know it. Everyone knows it.
What these arrogant shits who keep aiming to “teach low income people” is not something we don’t know.
If you want to “teach” me something about food then teach me how to make $30 a week for three people stretch without processed meals.
Or how about you stop assuming we are ignorant of the fact that fresh foods are better for us than hamburger helper and look at the root of WHY we have to buy the shit.
Once again, it’s just easier to assume ignorance and laziness than it is to apply any critical thinking or empathy.
WORD.
(via sexgenderbody)
I’m building a portfolio.
Stuff I’ve done in the kitchen. Professional-looking photos, simple recipes included, a blurb about each project. I’ve narrowed things down to ten possible inclusions. I’m also doing Four Loko cupcakes on Saturday, so if all goes well with those, that should make for a pretty impressive entry.
I’m really not sure what I’m doing, like, at all. But I think the trick is to act like you’re the shit and then people will believe you. That tends to work. Besides, I’ve seen the competition in Clarksville. I am kind of a badass.
Toppings. Meat.
Strawberry cupcake with white chocolate cloud frosting.
Berries.
I’m making these today, only full-sized and with different frosting. I added in almost a whole cup of chunked up berries along with the puree, because I bought them from a strawberry farm this morning and they’re the best berries I’ve ever had. For the frosting, I’m doing a white chocolate version of this.
I went ahead and doubled the recipe, just to be on the safe side. I expect they’ll all be gone by the end of the night regardless.
S’mores!
