Kansas City Shuffle;
Say an election is coming and your strongest candidate is fairly weak. What do you do? You make everyone look one way, while you hit somewhere else. In the lead-up to the election, you present a bunch of absolutely terrible candidates. You get the insane human equivalents of piles of shit and parade them around loudly. Everyone goes mental. Your supporters, your critics, the media has a frenzy. These scarecrows that you’ve put up run around shouting “Ban porn!” and “God told me to run in this election” and other attention grabbing nonsense. Meanwhile, while everyone’s looking that way, you let your boy slowly stride forward.
By the time he’s the only man left he’ll look pretty damn great. He will have been the ‘strongest’ contender by default, but the considerable gap between him and the people he was running against will seem like it speaks volumes about his ability, rather than theirs. In a bar where all of the guys are drunk and ugly, you just might let the average looking guy take you home.
So here stands Mitt Romney. He’ll be running against Obama.
And all I’m seeing on Tumblr is leftover frenzy for the other guys. Jokes about Michelle Bachmann’s eyes. Santorum quotes. Cain’s sex scandals. Think about it; Compared to this buzz, how much negative Romney do you see? How much positive Obama? Because the ratio is like ten to one from where I’m sitting. But if Romney is president you’re not going to remember them. You’re going to be too busy wondering what happened to reminisce.
i hope rick santorum is walking down the street and someone is walking the opposite way towards him and they both try to go around eachother the same direction and end up both looking like complete tools to all the cars driving by
I hope Rick Santorum orders a pizza and expects the pizza to be the best he’s ever eaten, but it is a very mediocre pizza and it ruins his day.
I hope Rick Santorum gets a burrito and it’s in terrible layers from top to bottom.
I hope someone hacks into Rick Santorum’s Facebook account and posts “I like men”.
I hope Rick Santorum tries to go into the subway expecting to refill his MetroCard with a five dollar bill but all of the machines say “No Bills Accepted” and he has to walk to where he wants to go
i hope rick santorum goes to rip out a piece of paper from a notebook and it rips right in half
i hope santorum asks someone to pick him up a bottle of irish whiskey at the liquor store, but instead they get him canadian whiskey by mistake. (this happened to me once and i never recovered.)
I hope Rick Santorum logs into Netflix and finds his queue out of order.
I hope Rick Santorum orders a latte with no foam and then picks up someone else’s cappuccino by mistake but the line is really long and the barista can’t hear him when he says his drink is wrong so he’s forced to start his day off foamily.
The next time I interview for a job, I'm going to try the Ron Paul approach
- Interviewer: What interests you about our company?
- Me: I hate it and think it should be dismantled.
- Interviewer: What are your primary qualifications for the job?
- Me: I would systematically destroy your company.
- Interviewer: Why do you want to destroy our company?
- Me: Your company has a successful and diverse market line and a global presence. But when it was incorporated, the founders had envisioned a little mom and pop operation. I think we need to return to their vision.
Now, the founders of libertarianism - Nozick et. al. - obviously understood the principle that freedoms are often mutually exclusive - that my freedom to punch you in the face curtails quite a number of your freedoms. For this reason, they endorsed “minarchy,” or a government whose only role is to protect people from violence and protect property rights. But they didn’t extend the principle to covertly violent, semi-violent, or nonviolent forms of coercion.
Not surprisingly, this gigantic loophole has made modern American libertarianism the favorite philosophy of a vast array of local bullies, who want to keep the big bully (government) off their backs so they can bully to their hearts’ content. The curtailment of government legitimacy, in the name of “liberty,” allows abusive bosses to abuse workers, racists to curtail opportunities for minorities, polluters to pollute without cost, religious groups to make religious minorities feel excluded, etc. In theory, libertarianism is about the freedom of the individual, but in practice it is often about the freedom of local bullies to bully. It’s a “don’t tattle to the teacher” ideology.— Noahpinion, “The Liberty of Local Bullies” (via recoveringhipster)
American exceptionalism is lies and nonsense.
You can’t reassert the Constitution by shitting all over it like Newt Gingrich seems to want to.
And, yes, I want this country to become a secular, European sort of socialist society. The western European socialist countries outperform the United States in nearly every measure of a healthy society—education, healthcare, and so on.
Why wouldn’t people want that except for the fact that we have a culture that glorifies greed and selfishness at the expense of our fellow humans? People in the United States should be appalled at the actions of the rich and powerful in our country; instead, most people nurture the not-so-secret hope that, one day, they too can exploit others in order to make their fortune.